Something Isn't Right at School. What Should I Do First?

When you’re worried about your child at school, you don’t have to have all the answers to take the first step.

Have you ever had that feeling that something just isn't right with your child at school, but you can't quite put your finger on what it is?

Maybe your child is coming home upset, refusing to go to school, struggling with homework, or saying things that make you wonder what's happening during the day.

And now you're asking yourself: Do I talk to the teacher? Should I request an with the teacher and guidance? Am I overreacting?

First, take a breath.

You don't have to know exactly what's wrong to start asking questions. You just need a place to begin.

1. Pay attention to what you're noticing

Start with what you're seeing at home and what your child is telling you.

Are they suddenly exhausted after school? Having more meltdowns? Losing confidence? Struggling with work that used to feel manageable? Avoiding school or certain activities?

You don't have to figure out the reason right away. Just notice whether something has changed and how it's affecting your child.

2. Write a few things down

When you're worried, it's easy to forget details once you're in a conversation with the school.

Keep simple notes about:

• What you're noticing

• When it seems to happen

• How often it's happening

• Anything your child has shared

• Questions you want to ask

This isn't about building a case against the school. It's about helping you explain your concerns clearly and remember what matters to you.

3. Start a conversation with the teacher

If it feels appropriate, reach out to your child's teacher and share what you've been noticing.

You might say:

"I've noticed some changes at home, and I'm concerned about how things are going at school. Can you tell me what you're seeing in the classroom? I'd like to understand what's happening and talk about what might help."

Ask what the teacher is noticing, whether your child is having difficulty in specific areas, and what support or next steps might make sense.

You don't have to go into the conversation with a perfect plan. You're there to share what you know about your child and learn what the school is seeing.

4. If you're still concerned, ask about next steps

Sometimes a conversation helps clarify what's going on. Other times, you may still feel that your child needs more support.

If you're concerned about your child's learning, behavior, communication, or ability to participate at school, you can ask the school about the evaluation process and what steps are available.

You can also make your concerns and requests in writing and keep a copy for your records. Specific procedures and timelines can vary, so ask the school how the process works where you live.

And remember: You don't have to wait until things become a crisis to ask questions.

5. You don't have to figure everything out today

When you're worried about your child, it's tempting to start researching everything at once. Evaluations, IEPs, eligibility, services, meetings—it can quickly become overwhelming.

But you don't have to learn the entire system today.

Start with what you're noticing. Ask questions. Take the next step when you're ready.

And if you feel unsure about what to ask, what the school's response means, or where to go next, it's okay to get support.

A final word from Missy

I've spent more than 25 years in education, and I've also sat on the parent side of the table while navigating the school system for my own child. I know how hard it can be to worry about your child and not know what to do with that worry.

You know your child better than anyone. You deserve to have your concerns heard and to understand the options available to you. If you're feeling stuck and would like someone to talk things through with, I'd be glad to talk with with you. I always start with a Heart-to-Heart. We can talk about what's happening, what's concerning you, and what your next step might be.

Real talk. Parent to Parent. Parent to Advocate.

You don't have to figure it all out alone.

Missy Bee Advocacy Services www.missybeeadvocacy.com

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